Have a New You by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman

Author:Dr. Kevin Leman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
ISBN: 9781441213686
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2010-10-04T04:00:00+00:00

What’s in Your Rule Book?

One person drives his car directly into the Employee of the Month parking space even though he’s not an employee and there’s an empty stall right next to it. Another person passes up the space even though doing so means walking a hundred yards in the rain.

Why?

One college grad sends out 50 résumés and doesn’t get a single request for an interview, so she follows up each silent response with a personal visit to the company and ends up getting five job offers. Another woman sends out three résumés, receives three rejections, and quits looking, then takes an entry-level job with her father’s company—even though she has a four-year degree and is seriously overqualified for the position.

Why?

One father takes a very laid-back approach to parenting. His grade-school kids go to bed only when they get tired, even if that means staying up until 10 or 11 at night, and they all have permission to eat whenever they want to as long as they clean up their mess. Another dad treats bedtime like a divine mandate. If his eight-year-old isn’t in bed by 8:30, she’ll be grounded the next day after school. And once dinner is over, there is absolutely no way any food is going into her mouth until breakfast is served the next morning.

Why?

In each scenario, the people are acting according to rule books that make sense to them. One rule book says, “The day is more fun when you bend the rules. Life is too short to let other people tell you what to do.” People who live by this rule book enjoy getting others upset by deliberately flaunting their independence. They park in areas where they’re not supposed to park, they say things that might shock others, and they sometimes dress in a way that’s sure to garner attention.

Another group lives by the motto, “If I break a rule—any rule— the punishment will be severe and far greater than any enjoyment I might get out of doing what I want. Therefore, I won’t break any rule, no matter what.” Such a person is likely to be unusually submissive, the kind that producers have great fun with on Candid Camera. They’ll do anything you ask them to if they sense you have the authority to ask them to do it. Simply put up a sign and they’ll obey it.

In the example about two college graduates, the first woman is living by a rule book that says, “I always find a way. When people tell me I can’t do something, that just makes me want to prove them wrong.” Under this guideline for living, rejection doesn’t act as a deterrent; it’s a stimulus. It gets her motivated. The second woman has a rule book that says, “Every time I stick my neck out, it gets cut off. It hurts more to be rejected than anything else, so I’m not going to try anymore.” A person who believes this to be true will give up at

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